Nothing beats good dark chocolate and a nice robust red wine. The scent alone conjures memories that follow me through life. I happily blame my addiction on Lore.
Lore was my mother’s cousin. She lived in Germany, survived WWII and all the misery that preceded and followed that stain on humanity. In the aftermath, the family lost their home and many of their possessions, Lore cared for her devastated parents and severely injured brother, and witnessed the severing of her country into two angry parts: East and West. She was a force of life far greater than the events that conspired to bring the entire world to its knees.
Until I was about 25, Lore and the entire German side of the family were nothing more to me than strange names, onion-skin letters, and delectable holiday treats arriving in exotic tins and wrapped in endless cardboard and brown paper.
In 1978 my mother asked me to accompany her on her first visit to Germany since her family left in 1924. Lore was in her sixties when mother and I arrived like bedazzled orphans. Lore’s own mother was in her eighties. While Lore escorted mother and me on sightseeing excursions, her mother stayed home and joyfully prepared—in a kitchen not much larger than my bathroom—extravagant meals for gatherings of ten to twelve people. We talked until late into the night, catching up on 50 years worth of history, both the tragic and the triumphant. Well, I say we, but my grasp of the German language was so rudimentary that I understood only every tenth word. But I was enthralled to watch as my mother slid back into a language she had abandoned so many years earlier.
As each evening drew to a close, Lore would announce that it was time for “Punktion!” Lore’s Punktion was the exclamation point at the end of a sentence: chocolate—not a lot, but very good, dark, rich chocolate, perhaps only one square for each person—accompanied by a glass of red wine. This combination initially shocked me. But in short order, I came to appreciate how the creamy chocolate dissolves more eloquently when mixed with a sip of Cabernet.
After a round of Punktion, the rest of the family members bundled up and headed home. Lore offered her bed to my mother. Lore and I slept on the dining room floor. I remember collapsing onto my mat on the floor, exhausted by the strain of trying parse meaning from every tenth word, combined with a belly bloated from too much delicious food and endless glasses of wine, topped off by Punktion. I glanced at Lore, lying flat on her back, arms crossed over her chest like carefully staged corpse arms. We chatted amiably for a few minutes. Then she announced “Gute Nacht, meine Leibling (Good night, my dear.)” Her next breath was a soft kitten snore. It was about 1:30 in the morning. At 6 AM sharp, Lore rose from the floor like a Jack-in-the box released from its cage. “Guten Morgen, hast du gut geschlafen (Good morning, did you sleep well?)” And off she bounded to prepare coffee and breakfast, while I struggled to rub the sleep from my bleary eyes. We repeated this routine each night that we were guests in Lore’s home. Punktion, indeed!
RW, I can see the Deutsch side of you in that last photograph.
I very much prefer dark chocolates but have never tried it with Cabernet.
Out of curiosity, did Lore use a German word for “punction”?
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That’s a good question, Nel. She actually pronounced it much like I spelled it. Perhaps I should have spelled it…punktion. Punkt meaning point…. Matter of fact, Thank you Nel. That is what this post is missing…a more perfect spelling of the word. I’m going to edit right now!
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Wonderful memory of a lovely lady, Linda! There is a gift one receives by making the effort to know one’s relatives – they are, after all, a trace of you in the world. Chocolate and Cabernet will be my next experience!
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Warning: It’s addictive! You are right, SD, about the gift of relatives. I am SO thankful that my mother asked me to go with her on that trip. It opened a new, fantastical world of possibilities for me.
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Nice story.
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Thanks for dropping by, Don.
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Such a beautiful story, Linda, Thank you for the insight into your German heritage. And that lovely 80ies picture of you 😉
I am not a fan of either, dark chocolate and red wine, but I understand the importance of this metaphor for… well, feeling at home, I guess.
Make sure you stop by my blog this week, I am going to delight my readers with an account of dear German (well, I suppose, I should say Sandra’s) Christmas traditions.
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Oh cool, Sandra. I’m headed over there now!
That awful photo of me, I was clowning with Lore’s reading glasses. Today…I’d be using those glasses! The photo degraded pretty badly and didn’t scan too well…contrasting how well that old image of Lore held up.
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So your mother must have left Germany during the great hyperinflation? If I remember correctly 1924 was one of the worst years. I can only imagine the stories the family must have told sitting around on those evenings, and what a strain it must have been for you trying to understand with only a small grasp of the language. I experienced something similar when I went to visit my sister in Spain, although I must admit my high school Spanish came roaring back after eight years of neglect. I was remembering vocabulary I didn’t recollect learning. Do you speak fluent German now when you go back to visit?
And, oh yeah…nice perm. 🙂
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Wiseacre! 😉
Fluent German? Are you kidding? They all speak such flawless English and are so delighted to trot it out for a nice practice session when I’m in their presence that I’ve never gotten beyond short, rudimentary phrases. But I do remember how nervous my mom was about her fluency initially. But she slipped into it like into a comfortable old slipper. The funny thing is that my mother always had a very unique accent. Part British, part German, part New York, I guess. As I strained for meaning and listened carefully, I heard my mother’s accent even in her German dialogue!
And funny, I thought my three years of junior high Spanish would reappear when I went to S. America last spring. No such luck. It appears that in my struggle to cram German in on top of the long-unused Spanish, I’ve ended up with pretty much nothing in there!
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Thoroughly enjoyable, RW. I love learning about these real experiences. I wonder if you had a sense of “My God, all that stuff was real.”
When I went to Europe as a kid in the mid 1960s, never having had a family member at war (they were farmers so were needed to produce food at home), I was shocked to discover the reality of the horrible war. Suddenly, the conditions we studied at school was coming out of the mouths of older Europeans who talked about it as though it was all “only yesterday”. Now, I realize that it was!
It taught me the resilience of human beings. Hearing people say, “This was all rubble” and seeing the solid structures of a fully functioning city, I was floored by the human ability to recover.
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You are absolutely right, SD. I was astonished by many things when I visited Germany and on each return visit, something else grabs me. During the 1986 visit, Lore took me into East Berlin. We went in via two different entrances, me through Checkpoint Charlie, she through another one. We also rode two different “tour buses.” But she had already coached me on what to look for beyond what was “officially” described by the guide. As I watched the wall come down on TV just two years later, the hairs on my arms actually stood up. On my most recent visit, I toured Dresden, which, as part of the former Eastern sector, has been slower to recover from the war of 60 years ago.
I think my connection to these events has given me a somewhat jaded perspective about typical American complaints. It is true that, at the moment, our country is really in trouble. Yet Americans have never ever dealt with the widespread devastation that occurs when your land is host to repeated, daily bombing raids that rip through residential, farming, and industrial areas with equal ferocity. I can’t get my head around war. I hope I never do.
Original Message—–
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Fantastic what memories can do to the mood. And if it involves Punktion of the kind Lore offered, what fun! The combination seems attractive to me, too. I am going to try it as well. When I can!
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Meanwhile, I shall think of you while I indulge! 😉
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I really like the pictures you posted with this. The chocolate/wine photo is such a nice touch.
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Thanks! Rae Ann.
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War does little more than convince people to hate, simply because they’re told to. Just as we were instructed to despise and distrust the Russians, our parents and grandparents obediently felt the same way about the German people. Your beautiful post provides a glimpse into the lives of Lore and her mother. But it also shows us, if indirectly, that the citizens of Germany — even during the war — were real human beings caught under the rule of insane leaders. Well done, Linda.
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Trust you, Charles, to bring more to my writing than I realized was there. It is true. Real human beings pay the price of politics, not only in war, but in other ways as well. My heart bleeds when I think of what the PEOPLE of a country at war must endure.
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