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Checking my WordPress Akismet stats, I find that my ratio of spam to ham is 84 to 16%.

Akismet's yummy pie

Akismet’s yummy pie

What, you may ask, is ham? Why, ham is the good stuff. the comments made by real human fingers with real human brains, who have actually read (I hope) the posts on which they are commenting. Spam, on the other hand, I’m sure you all know, comes from bots and underpaid third-world minions plopped in front of monitors, whose mission is to lure unsuspecting Internet users to some nefarious site that’s selling or mining something. Snoring Dog Studio has a fascinating discussion of this weirdness which she calls Spamffirmations.

Thanks to the magic manipulations of Akismet’s army of spam bloggers, I’m not bothered much by my spam. Most of it automatically lands in the cyberspace trash heap, wherever that is. Occasionally a few spam comments land in my spam filter where I feel empowered to thump the delete key. But really, why are so many idiots chasing after my little blog?

The dramatic increase in spam on my site (from 12 in August 2011 to a whopping 1048 in June 2013) correlates to first, plugging my site on Facebook; then, to plugging myself to the weirdness that is Twitter. That’s what you get for unabashed self-promotion. Thank you WordPress and Akismet for keeping these idiots out of my hair.