Tags
creativity, Diversity, implicit bias, Infinitely Polar Bear, love, Mark Ruffalo, mental illness, unconscious bias, Zoe Saldana
I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to curb knee-jerk judgements. It’s difficult to fight the urge to categorize and generalize based upon where people live, how they dress, how they speak, and what groups/religious organizations they belong to. Perhaps this is implicit bias that we are all (or some of us) fighting. Tralient, a website focused on professional compliance training, points out that implicit bias or hidden bias occurs whether a person realizes it or not. In fact, unconscious bias can even be in direct conflict with the person’s belief system.
A film I really didn’t expect to connect with, based on my bias toward its title, Infinitely Polar Bear bonked me on the head. It’s definitely not the kid’s flick its title implied (to me, at least), although it does have a pair of really awesome child actors, Imogene Wolodarsky and Ashley Aufderheide. The story unfolds with Cameron, played by Mark Ruffalo, cavorting about with and without his kids, acting out in unconventional bizarre ways that can be a bucket of fun for kids—for a while. But as any family who has lived with the specter of mental illness knows, Cameron’s bipolar disorder, combined with acute alcohol sensitivity is disruptive in social situations, and he can’t be relied upon as the family bread winner because his alternate state of reality gets him fired faster than he gets hired. It falls to his long-suffering wife Maggie, played by Zoe Saldana, to keep the bills paid, food on the table, kids scrubbed and off to school in time. Her acceptance to Columbia University—with a scholarship—to obtain her MBA creates a dilema. How can she attend an expensive school in Boston, while not disrupting her kids’ education at one of the best public schools in NYC? If Cameron can hold it together as head of the household for just 18 months, she can emerge with a better chance at a living/thriving wage.
Set in the mid-70’s, the film depicts gender disparities that exist even today. Maggie’s promotions are routinely thwarted when men in power discover she has children—the third strike against her, in addition to being a woman with dark skin. Her in-laws accuse her of being a women’s libber for seeking upward mobility and denigrate their son for not being a man. They’re in complete denial about his condition and the fact that he is not capable of being the bread winner. The house husband watches mothers at the playground bonding and enjoying each other’s company. He is never invited to join them for a cup of coffee. He is infinitely lonely, alone with his children, like a polar bear.
The only social construct that was missing or was very obliquely raised was Maggie’s dark skin, and how being black may also have contributed to her inability to move up the corporate ladder. How much did her skin color have to do with where she was able to find affordable housing? How much of her wealthy in-laws’ unending disapproval of her has to do with her hair and skin color?
And how many times have I shied away from a person with obvious psycho-social problems? How many times do I turn away in revulsion from people with political and religious beliefs that are contrary to my own? I’ve got a lot of work to do.
This film sounds fascinating, as are your questions at the end. I’ll have to hunt down the film from some external site and hunt for some answers in my internal site.
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😀 I found a DVD on Netflix. It’s worth searching for.
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No matter how “woke” I try to be. I think I’ll always have a problem giving folks with a red Trump hat on benefit of the slightest doubt.☺ I really need to work on myself, especially since I’m a commissioner on the Little Rock Racial and Cultural Diverity Commission. I’ve been doing diversity and inclusion work since the latter part of the 1980s.
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I find it utterly devastating to think the least bit generously about antivaxxers, anti CRTers, climate change deniers, and people who believe they have the right to control my body or anyone else’s. BUT, I’m sure they feel the same way about me. Those closed off feelings don’t solve problems and only make the world a more dangerous place. It is so hard. And I honestly don’t know how anyone living in this country with brown skin can trust the lily whites who’ve held the purse and power strings forever, and fight like mad to keep holding them–to keep holding back others so they can hope to rise above. What a mixed up world.
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great review , and I am looking out for this movie, online, at the library because it sounds like one that will grab my attention, enjoy and make me think.
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I got a Netflix DVD of it. It’s rather old. 2014. 🙄 Which honestly doesn’t seem that old, but I know it is. Really a fine movie. Lots of laughs and lots of serious thinking.
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I have never heard of the movie but it sounds good. Thanks for the heads up!
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It’s sort of old. 2o14? But really worthy. I found it on Netflix DVD. It may be available in the library or Youtube. It’s not depressing at all, although it deals with a difficult subject.
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Yes, it is a good question. I suppose lead by example which in my case is frugal and non consuming as much as possible. As for loving the non vaxxers or Trumponians, I try and walk around them.
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Good policy. They just make my stomach knot up because they seem so self-centered. But that is my perspective. I’m not being open, I’m not seeing the world through their eyes. (I don’t think I can. 😣)
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So difficult to love one’s neighbour. when “they” rub you up the wrong way. I admire and respect your honesty – I think I am unbiased and open-minded but what’s really going on underneath?
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There are individuals who accept other humans without a lot of harsh judgement. I suspect this is a learned trait, a compassion muscle that needs excercise. I’m a weakling.
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This sounds like my story…
My dad was bipolar, refused any intervention that may have helped, and medicated himself with alchohol. With five kids, my mom had to find ways to survive when dad quit his job…again…
When my youngest brother went to school, she went to work. It was a rough life…
I judged it very harshly myself. I’ll check out this movie…
One that is similar is “Penguin Bloom” on Netflix.
Thanks for the links, Linda…
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You had every right to judge that childhood harshly. It’s a wonder you came through it to become the lovely, generous soul you are, Ruth.
Thanks for the recommend for Penguin Bloom. I’ll look for it.
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