Tags
Buffalo Mass Murder, climate change, History repeating itself, mass shootings, respect, self-righteousness, war, white supremeacy
I am emotionally resilient. I navigate grief more easily than other people. I have an enormous capacity for darkness, blood, and even gore in books, art, and entertainment. Unlike the extroverts who mourned group activities and human connection during the COVID lockdown, I relished the peace and quiet and solitude. But lately I find myself unexpectedly coming apart.
Confused Ukrainian grandmothers clutch their cats, dogs, & parakeets as they seek escape from yet another war—they’re not so different from the accomplished and wealthy Jews forced to abandon their life accumulations to board trains to death.
Drivers of vehicles with souped-up mufflers relish a muscular growl as they stomp on the accelerator at the intersection at one end of the block, only to stomp on the brake just before the intersection at this end of the short block. Gas is not precious enough, it seems. The vision a skinny polar bear astride a shrinking growler floating out to sea, lodges in my brain and my eyes drip.
American flags flutter belligerently from the backs of pickups with over-sized tires and super-sized mufflers , driven by people with matching mega-egos, well-armed and eager to defend their fellow white nationalists from being “replaced” by people of color and worshipers of different gods. Firearm production has tripled in the last 20 years. We don’t need Russia. We are at war with each other.
In the aftermath of the murder of his mother by a white, 18-year-old thug, Garnell Whitfield, Jr. said it all: This shouldn’t have happened. We do our best to be good citizens, to be good people. We believe in God. We trust him. We treat people with decency, we love even our enemies. And you expect us to keep doing this over and over again.
The man is correct. There is no excuse for the way nations treat each other—over and over again; for the way humanity treats this singularly beautiful, blue planet—day in and day out; for the senseless war Americans wage against one another—198 mass shootings in 19 weeks, not counting the mayhem of cops and robbers and mobsters. When will it end? Will our collective tears be enough to douse the flames of hatred? Will they bathe our drought-ridden planet in hope? Or are we doomed to take the glory of life on earth out in a blaze of unglory?
Tough old bird that I am, I’m gutted, my heart squeezed.
Rangewriter 
It is depressing , and I have no idea how to make it better other than change myself.
LikeLike
You and I both can’t solve wars, or hate & fear of others, and I think we both live a pretty small footprint on the planet. It seems the only thing left for us to change is our receptivity. Grow thicker skins. Close our eyes. Close our minds. That’s a sad situation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I want to open my mind to hope, to love. I think of the Velveteen Rabbit, ripped , scarred and fur worn off, but loved, and loving, who became real. I was talking to a friend yesterday on the same subject. who said we are recycling the wrong things, that we need to go after the bigger items like automobiles and building materials and use less. We need to wake up. More stuff does not bring us happiness, but love does. I don’t have a large home, or good furniture or a hoard of friends but I have enough. And the creator’s land is still my land to care for, walk on, explore and hold in reverence, not to develop. I saw on a sign in a protest in a photo, “I can’t believe I still have to protest this shit.” It is true.
LikeLike
I so agree with your perspective that more stuff doesn’t bring us happiness. I’ve become stuff-phobic. I hate all the swag that comes with various charity and volunteer events. I don’t need another t-shirt, hat, tote bag, or coffee mug!
I applaud your strength in hopeful thinking. I did love that book, the Velveteen Rabbit, but it always made me cry. The abandonment felt so palpable.
LikeLike
“We don’t need Russia. We are at war with each other.”
You are right, and that is so sad.. and you have every right to be torn by this – as well as the Ukraine crisis.
LikeLike
I know you, too, battle worries about things that are out of your control, like the trees and forests, the battered coastal villages you’ve lived in and near. Climate change. 😥
LikeLike
and yes, one man’s hate/gripes with the other.. being from Mississippi, it can be quite painful to witness what I consider denial in so many of the people – not only about racism but also about certain political topics.
.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Man’s inhumanity to man – sometimes unbearable even to think of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was foreseen decades ago when global modeling showed that our population growth would exhaust the supplies and outlets to sustain us, leaving humanity to fight over the diminishing resources, like a cancer on an organism. Our ecosphere is the organism, and we are the cancer. Either we find a cure, or one or both of us will not survive.
LikeLike
Indeed. I remember studying and discussing the carrying capacity of the Earth in high school. Which is what makes the dismal situation today that much more depressing. We KNEW and did nothing.
LikeLike
NO! Anything short of a massive rock from space striking this little blue ball and destroying everything, nothing will wash away the damage that exists within the hearts of humankind. It’s mystery to me how anyone can hate another that they know nothing about.
LikeLike
To be honest, I’m rooting for a series of pandemics that simply wash humanity off the planet. Whatever animals remain may hopefully be able to adapt as the poor ball recovers. We both have a pretty grim view of the future, sad to say.
LikeLike
For months now, I have battled the descent of darkness. I am weary, contemplating fighting old battles yet again. I am grateful today for friends and family with a brighter outlook.
Music, a good book, a familiar film, these help.
God knows, sleep is no longer a respite. This piece touched me deeply, Linda…I pray for new paths to peace where I am, for all of us…
LikeLike
Yes, we’re walking the same path, my friend. It’s darned rocky.
LikeLike
I am naturally an optimistic person but it’s been hard to remain that way over the last decade or so. I won’t say that I’ve given up, but I really don’t hold out much hope that we will turn things around. I used to say “I’m glad I’m old” because I thought that any huge disaster (climate, war, internal insurrection) would probably happen after I’m gone. Now, I’m not so sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I’m beginning to wonder the same thing. And I’ve had the same thought about my age as a blessing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Music and fostering nice thoughts is what sustains me. What option do I have? Memories of my children and Helvi help too.
I hardly watch the news or read the paper. That is enormously stimulating.
Long walks !
LikeLike
Long walks in place of watching the news or reading the paper sounds like a good prescription. However, about as difficult as giving up booze.
LikeLike
In complete accord with your sentiments. It’s a sorry world when peace is not venerated & sought after.
LikeLike
So true. We’ve lost peace from the cradle to the grave, it seems.
LikeLike
My horse is my shrink. The only thing that keeps me sane.
LikeLike
Oh yes. That is perhaps why I’m rattled. I’m uncharacteristically without any hairy friends in my household. I’m trying to stay tether-free so that I can travel guilt-free. But maybe that’s not such a great strategy, things being what they are. Oh for the smell of horse breath and the tickle of horse whiskers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
WAY too many angry, selfish, violence-prone people in the world. And WAY too many of them own guns. Especially in the USA.
LikeLike
I couldn’t agree more. I wish I could dream up a solution.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You summarize the state of things as they are so well. I hope the planet and people who live on it are not doomed! 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person